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These pearls of wisdom have been
collected from the elders of Merland. Heed them well!
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- Never accept food in any form from a place that also sells
bait.
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- Always leave the party before it's time to pay the piper.
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- Never trust a smiling parking attendant who says,
"Sure, I can drive a stick."
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- Never trust anyone who goes around looking for secret
symbols in children's television shows.
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- Never eat in a restaurant if you see someone barfing in the
parking lot.
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- Never try to kick a bee in the ass, they don't like
it.
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- Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. But
do it first and then you've always got the moral high ground.
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- Never stay in a foxhole with someone braver than yourself.
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- Never cook bacon in the nude.
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- Always be sensitive to the early warning signs of
burnout. These include: irritability, loss of appetite, boredom,
and of course, lots and lots of dead guys all over the place.
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- Spend all you have. Sleep all you want.
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- Don't judge people by their relatives.
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- Trust in the gods, but lock your car.
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- Learn the rules, then break some.
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- Never grow too old to play or too serious to laugh at
yourself.
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- A balanced diet consists of a cookie in each hand.
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- Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall
never cease to be amused.
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- A clean house is a sign of a misspent life.
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- For those in touch with it, reality is the leading cause of
stress.
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- Just remember there's many a good tune played on an old
fiddle.
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- Remember that gravity is your enemy and estrogen is your
friend.
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- Always be careful what you wish for because you just may get
it.
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- Projects always take three times longer than you think they
will.
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- Know yourself, stand up for yourself, follow your heart.
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- Every aspect of life has its opposite. We are all dark and
light. Embrace them both.
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- Choose your own path--there are always choices.
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- Everything in life is there to be learned from. Learn from
everything and everyone and never stop growing.
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- We learn from our mistakes. The wisest people are often
chronic screwups.
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- Don't believe everything you hear.
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- The strongest power in the universe is love. When you are
angry and ready to scream at someone, think--Is this leading where I
want to go? Am I remembering love? Then do the right thing.
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- Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet
engines.
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- When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
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- The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.
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Questions and comments about this page please email Merpup