Santa Monica Convention
SOAP NOTES
The Journal of the Journey
###Warning-There are merpups pictured within this article. If you find a photo of yourself that you are not willing to publish here, then please email the person responsible for the page with the name of the photo and a short description of your part in the photo. We don't want anyone to get spooked at seeing themselves without warning!
Friday, January 22, 1999
Excitement was in the air as top "Merpups - S.O.A.P.Science of All
Pleasures" Foundation researchers from all over the world began swooshing down to
shower in the general vicinity of Santa Monica. The precipitating event: Missy Con '99 (a
merpup gathering beyond all sane dimensions). With the added attraction of the stage
appearance of Dar Roberts, technical scenes advisor to New Zealand....who was there to
discuss how she and Kerry escaped from Not-EDS to trace each other's
genealogies....(editor's note: the live experience of LL prevents our researcher from
being able to complete her report on the above listed event at this time. We regret any
inconvenience this may cause you.)
There was a rising lather as this research team checked into the Pacific Shores Hotel (Motto: You will gladly choose not to stay here again, if you survive the elevator ride, if you can find the call button). We concealed our identities using false names to protect our guests, Dar and Kerry. Oops. You can edit that out, right?
We surveyed the area, reconnoitering the pool. After whacking ourselves repeatedly in the head (no MaryD--nothing rattled loose) to try to counteract the surreal sensations melting our corporeal forms, we wandered back to the lobby and gaped at the influx of Merpups and other species of Xenites. Clearly it was time to put our SOAPy plans into action.
And for that we needed food. Suds comandeered a table at the corner of the tavern and set up our temporary HQ while Lather placed orders for a turkey club. Materials were distributed and the assembly completed in short order.
The time had come to find Alpha. Rumour, spread by technological advances that shall remain unnamed, had it that Merwolf was walking with a pack of pups down the Promenade near the Pier. We searched for this group, but alas they were too cunning. We had no recourse but to plot an all out ambush at the Bayside Hotel. After making sure all sectors were secure, the SOAP team waited patiently and with only minor fits of mischief.
Before security measures were unleashed upon us, Missy appeared with a bardic entourage. She was presented with a gift basket (thematic soaps and oils from the Body Shop and powdered chocolate from Godiva) and an admonition to share with Lunacy. The researchers who were present did their best to "pwaise Missy" without becoming lightheaded. She graciously accepted the first of the ubiquitous not-EDS name badges which would become a collar of distinction identifying the pack throughout the weekend.
With the blessing of the Alpha, SOAP Foundation went into full swing. We regrouped to distribute name badges to all of the pups we encountered. The ebb and flow of Merpups was gearing up to become a palpable event for local residents. Among shouts of arrrooooo and other friendly growls, Merwolf made a brief appearance to the Pack on her way to the Secret Bards Society dinner. She was seen later that night in the center of many bardic constellations at the Pacific Shores Hotel bar.
Addendum: A plot related to MaryD was hatched. I was only going to mention this to give it the appropriate tease factor. But now that the jaguar is out of the bag, Mary D has her very own Mr. Potato Head for her shelf. Thank you, Missy and all other operatives....you know who you are.
Impressions: Oh, my gods, it's Missy--Live in the flesh. Discovery of the Day:
Even waiting in line for pre-registration can be lots of fun if you are with pups (like
those whose names rhyme with 'peeling' and 'rune' <g>)
Saturday, January 23, 1999
Although the SOAP researchers did hear about a Herculean event, much of our focus was devoted to the evening ahead. Rumours from the ProphEDS that filtered back from the lists prompted a last minute delivery of a top secret appeasement mechanism. Our addiction led us to impinge on the salsa dancers and serial killers to check up on the pups back home.
As part of its prime directive to aid and abet Merwolf in every way imaginable, the
SOAP team kidnapped Missy (well, of course, with her consent!) and embarked on a series of
errands uncovering the following details:
-- Packing a week in advance did not prevent Missy from making a 1:00 AM run to Walmart the night before her trip. Gab the Lab had eaten the backs of her shoes. We can only surmise that Gab did not want Missy to go away. Good pup. The new shoes and the magical laptop case were captured on film by an astute SOAP photographer.
-- Gab the Lab hairs traveled with Missy between the keys of her infamous laptop. Now if that doesn't raise oxytocin levels.....
-- Missy is solid. (Must be a Dar thing.) This was inadvertently discovered by crashing into her at an office supply store (Honest, it was an accident!).
-- How many pants? A source with a wry grin revealed that Missy had in fact only packed 4 pairs of pants for the weekend. She was however, on call for the real EDS. And you never know who you might encounter in those Continnental Flight Lounges.
-- Actually picking up Pups would have led to an agonizing flight for Merwolf (and would not be conducive to or might even preclude the joining of any on-flight clubs). However, the "Hi, I'm Missy Good." pick up line if exploited, would have gotten her quite far in our crowd!
-- If you're curious about what Missy would choose to eat at a Thai restaurant....think Dar. Meat, Coffee and Ice Cream are the main food groups. It might also be of interest that though the original invitation was to take Missy to lunch, the SOAP Research Team lost the arm wrestle with Missy for the check. As much as we wanted to treat Merwolf in appreciation for all we get from her, we came to a quick understanding of what the alpha thing is about. And besides, we were just across from the Head Shop.
-- Missy is fine with Pups. She never seemed overwhelmed no matter what was thrown her way.....on the other hand, don't toss her to the monkeys and parrots! Our nearly fearless Alpha Leader was caught hiding behind a tree watching a performing street monkey.
The Pup Dinner
GentDave and other planning pups created the ultimate festivities (think Amazon Party!!!) topped off by the dessert table from disclaimer heaven. It was simply amazing to observe all the cool pup interaction. All of the Pups seemed familiar and the immediate bonding experience was very cool.
Arrroooos of welcome and the much anticipated Question and Alpha session was nearly underway. As the aforementioned BPA (back pain avoidance) remained a priority, Missy did not engage in any physical pup lifting at the dinner. Of course, that didn't prevent a puppy pile from forming around her. How did MaryD manage to rearrange these pup heads from such a distance? Clearly she has many skills.
To make Missy more comfortable, volunteers were called up to the front and asked to
"switch names." SOAP Foundation gave a short and gentle roasting as a prelude to a flash photo session that rivaled the entrance of Lucy Lawless
the next day.
The Videos
The video session was lots of fun. Missy tried to call
MaryD, but she must have been out hunting heads (or possibly "lunching" like
she said she would be). Missy only got her answering machine......and soon afterwards she
had to leave the pups to their blissful drooling over scenes of Xena and Gabrielle and Jox
(Oops. Sorry about that!) Seriously, the pups watched LL and ROC until their eyes glazed
over in sheer visual pleasure.
Sunday, January 24, 1999
The Xena convention.
Claire (Alti) was hysterical. You could tell she thought she was too covered up in her Alti outfit because she made an effort to show a little of herself to her fans. She talked about getting comfortable with being really evil, learning to just "go for it" in scenes, about how cool it is to work with Lucy, et al. She spilled a few beans. Alti is a recurring role. She is dead but her spirit never dies. It continues to cause trouble for Xena. Claire was gorgeous, outrageous, sexy and she and Lucy are playing a little golf together......
Karl (Caesar/Cupid) wild, engaging, how much no-doz did this guy take??
Steven Sears......was great. His vision is that the struggle during Season 4 is of Xena and Gabrielle growing and redefining themselves. He said they would find their purpose this year and that will be the set up for them to go forward in the next season with a renewed sense of themselves and their purpose to "change the world." Most important to us of course he said that they belong together. He sees them as closer than most married couples, and doesn't think that means they have to be or don't have to be, you know.
Lucy WOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW!!!
She was gorgeous, funny, comfortable, happy, awesome. Guys, she is more gorgeous in
person....She worked hard to make the visit with us go well: She sang at our request; she
teased us at every opportunity (and we loved it). There were a lot of stunned and very happy Merpups staggering around after
their experience of a live LL.
