These are whimsical bits, mostly from either using or punning words listed in Word Of The Day lists. Since most are from postings ot a Xena list, some familiarity with the Xena and Gabrielle characters are assumed.
Jim aka FBtE
gossamer \GAH-suh-mer\ (adjective)
: extremely light, delicate, or tenuous
Dawn after Japa
but cherishing the touch
of gossamer lips
in my dreams"
Gabrielle of Poteidaia
jimjams \JIM-jamz\ (noun)
Looking around the captain's cabin while Kirk hits the head.
Scotty: "Well, wudja lookit that! A nightshirt from the
McCoy: "...and with captain's bars on the sleeves, too."
Spock: "Logically, it must be JimJams".
divagate \DYE-vuh-gayt or DIH-vuh-gayt\ (verb)
: to wander or stray from a course or subject : diverge, digress
An outtake from "Mortal Beloved"
Ephiny: "You mean, she just jumped in the lake and went to hell?"
Gabrielle: "Well, no. She dove in to go to Hades"
E: "What's down there? A big ole door?"
G: "Actually it's a diva-gate"
Xena: "Bleah! This Julep tastes insipid!"
Gabrielle: "<heh> Hey, Warrior Barkeep, you forgot to adamant"
3) minatory \MIH-nuh-tor-ee or MYE-nuh-tor-ee\ (adjective)
: having a menacing quality : threatening
Xena: "Drink this; it's good for your cramps"
Gabrielle: *glock* *glock*
G: "Gah, Xe!! What IS this infandous concoction?"
X: [smiles minatorily] "It's boiled bunny bones from the other night's dinner"
n : ridiculous or insincere talk
Gabrielle whispers invitingly to the dinner rabbit, "Here, bun, bun. Here buncombe to momma."
1) droze \droze\ (verb) : to melt irregularly and drip, as
2) brool \brool\ (noun) : a low roar; a deep murmur or humming
3) aprosexia \ap roe seks' i a\ (noun) : inability to concentrate
On Beer and Girls
Ah wuz settin wi muh bud Clarence sucking up the local brool
when Betty an
April come saunterin' in.
So ah pokes Clarence an said "The last time ole Betty
droze me wild, but ah
still find asprosexia".
April 2, 2002:
lachrymose \LAK-ruh-mohs\, adjective:
1. Given to shedding tears; suffused with tears; tearful.
2. Causing or tending to cause tears.
B'tween them Amazon gals, I lak Solari purty good, I lak Ephiny
a sight more, but Gabby I lachrymose of all.
Definition 1: Fortunate, lucky, having sonse (= good fortune); sensible, shrewd; (of girls) zaftig (full-figured) and comely.
note: donse is the opposite, meaning unfortunate
A donsy sonsy day it was.
Twas a daisy day in the meadows
And the wee lambs gamboled about
But down and donsy was me spirit
And me mouth was in a pout
Then frolicked ye across me sight
Full sonsy was yer bonny bod
Me lips broke me ears wi a smile
When ye tossed me yer saucy nod
Ye flew into me arms
And crushed me in yer embrace
Me tongue was broke wi joy
Me tears rained down me face
I thank the gods above
And all the spirits below
Who blessed me worthless hide
That ye could love me so
irrefragable \ih-REH-fruh-guh-bul or ear-ih-FRAG-uh-bul\
1 : impossible to refute
*2 : impossible to break or alter
Apocryphal (Adjective) [ê-'pah-krê-fêl]
Definition 1: Of unknown origin hence of questionable authenticity, spurious; non-canonical; erroneous.
Nephelococcygia (Noun) [ne-fê-lê-kê-'si-jee-yê ]
Definition 1: (Literally, "Cloudcuckoosville") Interpreting the shapes of clouds.
Definition 2: La-la land, a dream land cut off from reality.
Xena and Gabrielle are lying down on their blankets staring at the night sky.
X: (pointing to a star constellation) "That is *not* irrefragable! It's just an apocryphal legend they tell the kids."
G: "No! No! It's true. Don'tcha see the eyes, the nose.. the fuzzy ears?"
X: "Ears? Eyes? That's some imagination you have. You're just being nephelococcygic."
G: (swinging her staff in a huff) *BONK*
sybarite \SIB-uh-ryt\, noun:
A person devoted to luxury and pleasure.
Apotheosis (Noun) [ê-pah-thee-'o-sis]
Definition 1: Elevation to divine status, to the position of a god; an absolutely perfect example.
(1943, someplace in Dixieland, PG version)
Melinda: Honey, y'all just have to start writing your paper.
Janice: Mel, it ain't the writin'. It's the subject I'm stuck on.
M: You're not concentrating. You're just potting around.
J: Hey! That's it!
I'll write about funereal rites in the ancient world. Lessee.....
"The Warri-aPoTheosis on Funereal Rites of Ancient Beheaded Heroes".
That'll wake up the old codgers on the university board.
M: Well, I don't know if mah ole Great-Great X-times Ancestor would appreciate you making fun of her pot, but it's a start...
Mel grabs Jan and pushes her down on a chair at the desk
M: <in a purring voice> Now honey, y'all jes sybarite down heah and start typing...while ah get into somethin' more comfy and get'cha somethin' to nibble on.
J: Sweetheart, just hearing you say that like that gave my fingers a case of cramps. How can I type? Come 'ere.
Mel smiles a big Chesire cat smile.
torpid \tor' pid\ (adjective)
: deprived of the power of motion or feeling; benumbed
: dormant; hibernating
: lethargic; apathetic
timorous \tim' ur us\ adjective
: full of apprehensiveness; timid; fearful
: indicating, or caused by, fear
postprandial \post-PRAN-dee-uhl\, adjective:
happening or done after a meal.
While Xena was engaged in an after lunch discussion of defenses and fortifications with the King, Gabrielle, torpid after such a gargantuan repast and praying that Xena wouldn't notice, timorously waddled back to their room for a postprandial nap.
Tautology (Noun) [ta-'tah-lê-ji or taw-]
Definition 1: Redundant word or phrase, a pleonasm; (in philosophy) a statement comprising two clauses that make the statement necessarily true whether either of the two statements is true or false, e.g. "Philosophy will either drive me crazy or it won't drive me crazy."
Gab: Xena, this ransom note is gibberish.
Xena: Gimme that! Nah, it's just written Tolog, an old dialect fro Phillipus.
G: Can you read it?
X: Nope, not one of my many skills <g>.
G: OK <smirk> Hey, let's take it to old man Phoneticus, he'll read it for us.
X: Fony... Fonus... who is this guy?
G: He's a retired teacher from the Academy, when he was younger, he tautology.
ascetic \uh-SEH-tik\ (adjective)
1 : practicing strict self-denial as a measure of personal
and especially spiritual discipline
*2 : austere in appearance, manner, or attitude
1 a : of, relating to, or dealing with aesthetics or the beautiful b : ARTISTIC c : pleasing in appearance : ATTRACTIVE
2 : appreciative of, responsive to, or zealous about the beautiful;
also : responsive to or appreciative of what is pleasurable to the senses
The Pwiestess Leah was trying to encourwage Genia to join the Hestian Virgins. "We live a werry aesthetic existence, with lots of chanting and pwaising of Hestia".
"Oh, how wonderful it sounds" replied Genia delightedly.
Gabrielle, covering her mouth, whispered to Genia "Ah...I think she meant to say "ascetic' ".
redoubt \rih-DOWT\, noun:
1. A small and usually temporary defensive fortification.
2. A defended position or protective barrier.
3. A secure place of refuge or defense; a stronghold.
modicum \MAH-dih-kum or MOE-dih-kum\ (noun)
: a small portion : a limited quantity
So Ma tol me to go down in the basement and check the new fangled electric meter LCD redoubt. I cain't make sense of them, so I hollered "Hey Sis, tell modicum down here and read it herself. And that's why I got a lump on my haid"
Definition 1: Lacking in feck, i.e. weak, ineffective, lacking vigor, energy.
Usage 1: Although "feckless" is often treated as an orphan negative, it in fact belongs to a complete family of derivations. The basic noun is feck "vigor, power, control of oneself," the adjective is feckful "vigorous, powerful, effective," and the adverb is "feckfully."
Ephiny, in memoriam
Ephiny was a fecking friend
And feckfully did she fight
But all for naught in the end
When feckless Brutus doused her fecking light
blithesome \BLYTHE-sum\ (adjective)
: gay, merry
puerile \PYOO-uhr-uhl; PYOOR-uhl\, adjective:
Displaying or suggesting a lack of maturity; juvenile; childish.
Dabbing her eyes, Pwiestess Leah said " I'm so happy and so sad. We're losing our wittle Woberta; she was such a puerile wirgin. Now she's getting mahwied to a farmer <sob>. I must go to her and give the blithe-some adwice about men".
Formication (Noun) ['form-ê-'key-shên]
Definition 1: The sensation of ants crawling over the skin.
Gabrielle rolls her eyes and shouts at Joxer "I said formicate, for-mi-cate, you....you...ant-brain!".
Jim FBtE 1/15/2002
myrmidon \MUR-muh-don; -dun\, noun:
1. [Capitalized] A member of a warlike Thessalian people who followed Achilles on the expedition against Troy.
2. A loyal follower, especially one who executes orders without question, protest, or pity.
haruspex \huh-RUSS-peks\ (noun)
: a diviner in ancient Rome basing his predictions on inspection of the entrails of sacrificial animals
Gabrielle was lovingly harassing her Warrior Mushball with little harus-pex trailing from Xena's throat, across her neck and up to her ears into which Gab mymirdon what she has in store for her that night.
countervail \kown-tur-VAYL\, transitive verb:
1. To act against with equal force, power, or effect; to counteract.
2. To compensate for; to offset; to furnish or serve as an equivalent to.
To exert force against an opposing, often bad, influence or power.
King Herod's jester sat with his hand extended and ticking
off his fingers while watching Salome dance.
The king asked "Just what the heck are you doing?!??".
The jester replied, with his eyes glued to Salome, "I'm just trying to countervails".
January 6, 2002:
nimiety \nih-MY-uh-tee\, noun:
The state of being too much; excess.
Priestess Leah, in an nimiety of piety chanted unto saity, "Pwaise Hestia".
penchant \PEN-chunt\ (noun)
: a strong and continued inclination; broadly : liking
sentient \SEN-shee-uhnt; -tee-; -shuhnt\, adjective:
1. Capable of perceiving by the senses; conscious.
2. Experiencing sensation or feeling.
Crux (Noun) ['krêks]
Definition 1: A perplexing issue which forms the major obstacle to success; the critical element or feature.
Gabrielle was having a bad day. Her quill was misbehaving; her "sentients" about Xena's fight with the marketplace "crux" and "thebes" were all strangely mis-spelled on her scroll.
So she visited the Temple of Bardicus (the god of Bards, of course) where the priest offered to perform a "pen-chant" to dis-enchant her quill. She sighed (Thud!) and said 'I "recon-dite" better do it before the three Naked Gabs (double-thud) re-appear again.' .
She gave him two dinars, but he shook his head and said "Sorry, I only take euros".
So she threw the dinars on the ground and stomped out, mumbling
Happy New Euros !! to our Euro-pean Pups.
definition Hawaiian for Happy Birthday
Little Lilaha was born on January first, so it was easy to remember her birthday. But I lose track of the years, so each year I have to ask "hau-o-li la ha-nau?".
Her pears were perfectly formed, small and shapely. Their texture was like the insides of an avocado, smooth and creamy, just begging for a sensuous lick of a tongue or a nibble of parted lips....
So, of course, I said, "OK, lady, I'll take a dozen... and a couple of oranges, too".