compiled by JTD
last update, Oct 2004
you watch Xena...
wonder why Ares: Warrior Puppy (R) isn't around
you wait for Toris to appear whenever one of the episodes takes
place in Amphipolis
you miss Cait in an episode with Amazons
after reading stories with a lot of Cait in it, you hear yourself
say "super" all the time
your favorite curses are "Hades' balls", "Centaur
poop" and "Hera's tits"
everytime you watch Star Wars and Chewbacca appears you wonder
how Jessan got the role
whenever people talk about the Gabdrag and "The Bitter Suite",
you tell them how it all REALLY happened
if you read all the way up to "Festival" you know Xena
has one more amazing skill we definitely didn't expect
the first bookmark entry on your browser is www.merwolf.com/
- .. if
someone asks you about a good fanfic site, you can actually recite
all Missy-related by memory
you check Missy's site at least once a day to make sure she didn't
post a new chapter while you weren't looking (please allow for
addiction variances here. Some merpups corrected me into three
times a day or even three times in ten minutes J
- ... every time you watch X:WP
you look for Xena's and Gabrielle's bond necklace and their wedding
- ... you'll never look at appleseeds
with the same eyes ever again
- ... you start giggling at the
sight of blue frosting
- ... you have your very own personal
stuffed leather animated warrior pillow
- ... you start writing a story
that involves Xena setting a bone and you honestly ask yourself
if she really puts the pinch on them, sets the bone and takes
the pinch away or if that is what Missy Good writes
- ... when you try to get to her
site for an update, get a "Forbidden: 403"-message
and promptly hyperventilate (Sherryl)
- ... when you go the nearest
pet store just to find out what Kissing Gouramis and Siamese
Fighting Fish look like (Narmin)
- ...when you're looking forward
to going home for Thanksgiving, not because you'll be able to
see family and friends but because you'll be able to stay online
past midnight. (Isurus)
- ...you wonder if there are still
bound books out there
- ... you cant remember
when you last held one in your hands and read it for pleasure
- ... you wish theyd hurry
getting those ST:TNG-PADDS into production so you can start reading
Missy in bed without depleting your printers inktank all
- ... you seriously consider getting
yourself a laptop just for the purpose mentioned above
- ... (only for Europeans:) youve
developed a strange routine of getting up in the morning, turning
on your computer, make some coffee while it boots, get yourself
breakfast while you reload Missys site and sit down in
front of it to read the update while having breakfast
- ... you actually got to www.discovery.com
to find out more about the Crocodile Hunter-show that Dar and
Kerry seem to be so obsessed about
- ... whenever someone suggests
a treat, you immediately cry out "strawberries and chocolate"
- ... youve developed a
strange addiction to chocolate milk
- ... you actually know what a
- ... you can list at least 10
items that will be found on merpups island
- ... although you fail miserably
and all your friends laugh about you, you keep trying to juggle
while running your morning round
- ... your teacher asks for a
report on a popular author and you sign up to write a report
on Missy. She says no. You spend ten minutes explaining that
not only is Melissa Good a popular author but a goddess incarnate.
(Yes, I really have done this! -Julie)
- ... your friends just walk away
when you mention Missy Good, Merwolf, Dar & Kerry or "Gotta
check my update". They've heard it all before.
- Although the rest of the family
calls the dog "Tiger" (or whatever his/her real name
is) you always call him Ares when no one else is around.
- Whenever you watch Xena going
into a cave in the show, you wonder why she isn't getting claustrophobia.
(all three by J. Gordon)
- ...you regularly check the bookstores
for "The Warlord's Guide to Conquering Greater Greece",
that Xena mentioned in "Circle of Life"
- ...while reading TS, you keep
going back and forth to MapQuest to locate Fisher Island, Kendall,
Crandon Beach, etc. OK, I admit it, also Alpha's addy. (I am
NOT a stalker--besides I'll probably never make it to Miami,
anyway, so Missy doesn't have to worry)(by tlc)
- you start reading the series,
finally take a bathroom break, and wonder why all the clocks
in the house are showing the wrong date (by Dave)
- you're listening to a CD and
you can think of a Missy scene where each and every song could
be perfect for the movie.
- you keep finding ways to arrange
your schedule around Merwolf updates and Xena episodes.
- you tell everyone at your graduation
party that they have to leave before 7pm or else they MUST shuddup
and sit down and watch a Xena rerun.
- now that you've been 18 for
a while and exercized all but one of your legal rights as an
adult, you're going to drive down to Willmington, NC, and getting
a tattoo of a chakram around your ankle.
- during re-run season, you scrounge
for pictures of X & G with their Mehndi tattos and practice
drawing the same Mehndi's in the same location on YOUR body.
(Speaking of which...I'm almost out of henna.)
- After hurricanes, tropical storms,
and other east-coast annoyances, you comb local wooded areas
for a fallen tree that would make an excellent Amazon fighting
- You try to think of inexpensive
ways to upgrade your computer so that it could somewhat resemble
Dar or Kerry's, only to realize that if you add anything else
to your computer, it just may explode.
- You collapse on the couch after
a jog around your circle, forget running eight miles a day.(all
by Kerry Hurley. Thank you for sharing, Kerry!)
- When the Proff hands out the
exam you give him the eye so he knows *who* he is dealing with
- (*blush*) You join a kick boxing
class and the instructor thinks you are nuts cause you ask when
you get to learn those flippy things so you can attack the bad
guy from behind...
- Your landlord catches you attacking
a perfectly nice boxing bag with a broomstick... -anyone need
a roomate? ;-) (all by Maria)
- Your Prof. describes a character
you're discussing in class as "kind of a Warrior Princess"
just so the class can get a chuckle at your expense. (hey, i
wouldn't add it to the list if it didn't happen regularly!)
- Your kick boxing teacher asks
you to please stop wearing the Callisto t-shirt to class, because
you're scaring him. >;) (all by Chrys)
- When watching TV and seeing
a cake with blue icing (very very blue!) you either grin foolishly
or giggle for the rest of the show... (by Chiclet)
- After reading the latest update
(and when she's outoftown doing Dar-like stuff) you reread all
the previous stories, even though you've read them so many times,
it's a good thing they're on computer or the paper would be torn,
ripped, stained (not breaking for eating), etc.(by giggles)
- When the friends you canjoled
into reading TS immediately think of you when they see two businesswomen
on the street- one tall and dark, the other short and blonde.
- You are watching the weather
and a stupid grin gets plastered on your face because there's
a tropical storm forming in the Carribean. Then you wonder why
they aren't mentioning Missy.
- You start eating meals in front
of the computer so you can catch up on MerwolfPack without wasting
time to eat.
- Your parents start getting worried
when you spend several hours a day on the computer and aren't
reassured by the "it's only the pups" explanation for
how you know you aren't talking to sickos.
- One of your goals in life is
to walk on Crandon Beach.
- Lexus commercials make you grin
like an idiot.
- One of the friends you cajoled
into reading TS actually got hooked and printed out HW, then
TS so her boss could read it. And you're happy because someone
you know in RL finally understands Missy Magic plus you can now
actually talk about Miami, Nov. 2000, Crandon beach, and bubblewrap
without getting (really) weird looks.
- You seriously consider naming
one of your children "Kerrison Renee".
- Every love song you hear makes
you think of D&K.
- You want to beg Debbie the producer
to film part of the movie near you just so you can crash the
- You have the TS: the movie logo
as your desktop wallpaper.
- You were really mad at your
mom because she opened your copy of TS when it came in the mail,
before you could get at it.
- You find yourself smiling for
absolutely no reason just because you started thinking about
- Just picking up TS or opening
a computer file written by Missy makes you grin like a fool.
- Your friends look at you weird
because you've started using "Hades' balls" and other
similar phrases instead of swearing.
- You have a Missy quote/scenario
for every occasion, and don't hesitate to mention it whenever
- Watching TV has become a casting
exercise for The Movie.
- Your friends don't understand
the importance of Nov. 2000, and you've stopped trying to explain
- Your friends were shocked that
you actually started reading "romance novels" because
that's all you could come up with to describe TS, due to the
fact you were impatient to get back to the book.
- The phrase "mushypup"
is firmly entrenched in your vocabulary.
- You spend half an hour trying
to think of more examples for this list. (every single one of
the above 18 by Ressik! Great going!)
- You book a trip to Disney World
so you can go to all the places Dar and Kerry were.
- While at the Magic Kingdom,
You tell the clerk that you JUST have to have that Pooh Bear,
then when you get it...you sniff it.. (both points from Mel aka
- You can spot a Lexus 470LX at
50 paces, and you can also tell when it's just the 320 or 420
series and not the one Dar drives. (Jo and Donna - Canadian Pups)
... you found this website and
BTW, there are more points at
Den, section Merpup's Anonymous. ;-)
email : jimFBtE (at) aditl (dot) com