Scientific Measures of S.O.A.P

S.O.A.P is a highly specialized area of research employing it's own internationally respected scientific standards. Budding S.O.A.P researchers can boost the validity of their results by utilizing the tools listed below in their experimental proceedings. Good luck and Lather On!

80 wpm - the average rate of physical production of updates

Chocolate Milk Snort Ratio - the speed at which chocolate milk squirts on to the keyboard after encountering a humorous or lathery moment.

Dar Kerrying Capacity - the amount of weight that Dar can lift if it is attached to or blocking her access to Kerry

Gallons of chocolate - the amount of chocolate consumed as a result of secondary mush effects (see Mush Effects)

Heads to MaryD - a fascinating phenomenon involving the rolling of objects and a positioning of relative objects on the shelves of shame

Missy Lift Range - a pup weight within the criteria of 115-125 lbs.

Mush Effect - a serious raising of oxytocin levels spread by consumption of Missy stories

Reload speed - a faster than light phenomenon of pups racing to the reload button after an announcement is made about a Missy update

Pups per chat with Missy - the amount of pups who will pile on a chat with the Great Goddess Bard is difficult to quantify but has been compared to the density of neutron stars

Pups per crash - the number of pups it takes to crash a site (Merwolf fans do not encourage testing "pups per crash" limitations as they impact negatively and result in a direct proportional drop in bits written by Missy.)

Santa Monica Flash Rate - the number of photos of Missy that will be snapped by adoring pups (While this phenomenon has not been measured in that specific geographic location, it is cited as an upcoming S.O.A.P research project with applied results forthcoming.)

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